I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
