All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
