My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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