Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
