Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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