I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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