dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
