last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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