so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
whose parrot is this?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
