He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Randomize
