girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
