her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
We need to get me chipped asap
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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