Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
