Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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