Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
He told me they were just razor bumps!
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
