I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
MIDGETS
????
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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