somebody snuck up and got me drunk
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
