the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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