Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I want to be your penis for a week.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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