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After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
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