I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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