ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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