The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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