wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
