You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
