party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
how does that bad decision feel?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
