We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
then he tried to convert me to islam
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
