i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
