Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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