Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
