My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
