my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
