she takes plan B like it's going out of style
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
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