I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
