He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
