I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
