i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
