it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
