i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Pants are for mortals
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
