i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
