ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Randomize
