We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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