I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
