You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
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