I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
