You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
