fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
