just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
