Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
