And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Send help, water and tortillas.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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