I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
