She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
