its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I FOUND THE LEGS
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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