YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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