I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
