so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
