I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize