I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
