I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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