peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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