I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
