I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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